Icevantage

Males vs Females (Math edition)

Male:

1 + 1 = 2

Female:

[(23 + (10 - 2))^0]/2 = x

8x^2 + 2x - 1 = 2

explanation: females run a much more complicated life to males

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We all know what time it is..

It’s tool time! ok, whenever I hear the phrase … ‘you know what time it is!’ I always relate it to the television show Home Improvement.

But that is definitely not the point, the true bare bones of this whole ‘blog’ or ‘note’ or ‘ultimate combination of words creating some orgasmic satisfcaction’ is all about me procrastinating. Now I know 90% of people are on the same boat as me, either going through Youtube or Reddit/Digg just killing time as studying isn’t the finest of things one should really do.

SPEAKING OF EXAMS

Please raise your hand if you think its completely pointless, come on now, raise that strong arm of yours as if the purple teletubbie is running at you threatening you with homosexual acts unless you don’t raise your hand up. Well, with that scenario both my hands are up and I would chuck in an extra third if it was possible (possibly with crazy genetics.. hmmm - note: research awesome genetic disfiguration, as if its not cool, a person with eyes on the back of his head, no one can out prank him mwahahhahaha.. err ahem).

Exams! yes, back on the topic at hand, my friend who I will not name was saying when will there be a real time scenario where your boss will ask you to do something involving an essay and in a 3hr period where there is no access to other information than whats in your head. So Jason goes on continuing how its retarded and I just cannot deny the truth of it all. So as Jason went, I thought that the crazy board of studies or crazy universtities (don’t knock TAFE that much since they have great work experience opportunities… yeah you could argue uni as well, but at this current moment ITS EXAM PERIOD) should definitely re-work their whole schedule to make things more connected to employment instead of spilling information on our brains!

Anyways, this is just a small painful rant hoping the universe will go wtf, you’re right! and the world just changes instantaneously. Now thats what I call results

From another university student under the annoyances of university,

Ivan

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Tight Pants

Before I actually start my consumer behaviour study i’d like to provide a public service annoucement or PSA.

Now, we’ve all seen people wearing tight pants, from all ages, genders and sizes. Now it is definitely a fashion trend going on and going on for quite a while but theres nothing that gets me more than the ‘type’ of people who wear such things.

In my eyes, its a double edged sword, on one end of the spectrum we have the people who can pull it off, and those people are girls. On the other more brutal to the eye side is males. I’m not sure what any of you fellas are thinking when wearing them but not only does it challenge you to put it in, taunting you at your struggle but it destroys the main organ part of the male body. Now, i’m not sure about the others but is it really neccesary to destroy you’re manhood for the sake of ‘fashion’. Is it possible that females created such a trend to provide pain in this region without even trying?

Yet another mystery of life needing to be solved, possibly through the loosening of pants.

- Ivan

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Return of the Blogs

Well, I’ve decided to return to the platform of tumblr. Not only that, but I’ve added comments to the site so I can respond easily to people about posts.

Lastly, I hope to keep this site updated! Oh and I’ll add some blogs that I’ve added from my other sites

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The Twilight Mysteries Revealed

It has been over 3-4 months since I have expressed interest in this blog.

Do I decide to kill this miniature project or do I take this bull-like metaphor and utilise it! I say “Yes!” whilst taking control over the horns and kicking the face of procrastination.

Judo-Kick!

Now in your very chairs you’re wondering, whoa whats going on?, this orgasmic pleasurable return of Ivan is too much to handle, I nod my head and reply “Prepare”. Now you’re just in some form of mind-eroded state, Prepare for what? well.. guess what the confusion heightens even more as I do not know whats in store as well.

Secondary Judo-Kick (now targeted to your face!)

Well I have a topic that just blasts the arms right off you. It is the unfortunate return of the most confusing subject of all, Woman. Well what about them you furiously ask seemingly close to vampires (and not those womanzing males pretending to be vampires) I’m talking about the real case of actual deathly vampires. Now you’re beginning to understand the topic altogether, its the crazed misconception of females and their desires for this vampiric (or so we may think) male.

First at foremost, let us dissect this character Edward Cullen by using the only facts I know, his name and he is ALLEGEDLY a vampire.

Edward Cullen, now has anyone in the world know of or has dated an Edward? not that I can think of, its because their kind is extinct due to lack of female attention, now I have used science to track this creator of things. you Twilight heads may jump to conclusion and raise their high-pitched voices to the gods and pounce to the answer of being Stephanie Myer.

How very wrong you are.

The only true victor in this situation is a young or old male named Edward, he has been trying to find a way where a woman would say “Edward, my dream-boat honey cookies and custard tart” instead of “Edward, are you sure that’s a name? I swear Oprah said it was some sort of scientific element”. Firstly Edward was stupid, as Oprah has never mentioned the name Edward, nor does she discuss the periodic chart of elements. Its beyond absurd. Poor Edward just wanted to make a name for himself, and thus with his manipulative ways by shooting bullets of seductive words straight to female and particularly questionable male hearts he has achieved such a goal.

Second on the agenda is the use of vampires. Has Edward gone mad, from the movie posters of the movie Twilight, I see no indication of the whereabouts of lust for not woman, but for blood. Vampires, are known to love blood, hell, blood is pretty gruesome and its a vampires sole diet. Do they eat carrots? probably so, for their impeccable eyesight, but in no way do they feast on cabbages. You know why? because they are vampires and not to mention cabbages aren’t the greatest on any one’s favourite food to eat. Furthermore, vampires are cursed or burdened wit ht the fact that they must consume blood in order to survive. Where is this anywhere on the poster or in Edward Cullen’s name, if by any chance I was a vampire, I would not be called Edward Cullen, I’d have one awesome name like, Bloodbath Bill, or Fangfrenzy Fred. More vampiric and more awesome.

This just in, secret sources have told me that this so called “Vampire” can roam the world in daylight. Number 1 rule of vampires, they cannot roam the world when the sun is about, it originated with bats,

DO BATS ROAM THE SUNNY BANKS OF THE GOLDCOAST.. IN THE SUN? most likely not.

Just another discrepancy in this whole twi-lame phase the girls are having.

To wrap this all up, this Twilight book/movie has captured the vampire name and created something else, which is a person (NOT A VAMPIRE) who just bites people, and lives for ever, hes an immortal, I bet the whole biting thing and blood thing is just for kicks.

Signing off as a slightly annoyed citizen of an apocalyptic world,

- Ivan

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